I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
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then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
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I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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