guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
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I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
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Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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