haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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