Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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