and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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