evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize