i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Rumble strips road head = magical
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He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
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I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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