I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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