Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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