hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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