I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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