its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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