ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize