I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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