did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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