i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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