Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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