You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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