I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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