Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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