she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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