porn star boner night. come get it.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize