Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
My butt remains clenched, sir.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize