i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Do vagina's smell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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