At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
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I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
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But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I need water and some morals
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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