is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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