My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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