dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
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It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
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And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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