Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
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So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
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FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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