You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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