Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
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We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
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Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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