I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
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i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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