Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize