dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
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I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
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I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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