You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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