We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
nutella sex= disaster
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize