She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
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Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
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Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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