dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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