Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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