It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize