Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
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I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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