I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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