So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Less talking, more tequila
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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