i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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