puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize