his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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