I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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