i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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