I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize