you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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